01. "Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings."
02. "What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."
03. "It's a one year membership to the Jelly of the Month Club."
04. "You'll shoot your eye out kid!"
05. "He never got his picture on bubble gum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubble gum card? Hmmm? How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on bubble gum cards?"
06. "Uh, since the United States Government declares this man to be Santa Claus, this court will not dispute it. Case dismissed."
07. "Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen."
08. "We're your worst nightmare... Elves with attitude."
09. "Fog as thick as peanut butter"
10. "Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved."
11. "The thing about trains... it doesn't matter where they're going. What matters is deciding to get on."
12. "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"